I really shouldn't, but this has been rattling around in my head for ages

NW - I wish to register a complain! 'Ello, miss?

Paul Jewell - Whatd'ya mean, "miss"?

NW - never mind that my lad, I wish to register a complain about this here Jarrett which I brought not 3 months ago, from this very boutique!

PJ - Ah yes, the Wigan Blue...what seems to be wrong with it?

NW - It's crap, that's what's wrong with it. When I purchased it, you claimed its total lack of ability was due to it being tired and shagged out after a prolonged season. Now that I've got him home, I've discovered it only played a dozen games. I want me money back!

PJ - No, no, it's just restin'. You need to wake 'im up, that's all.

And so on. You can take it from there!

Posted By: Lister of Smeg, Oct 3, 23:17:36