You should try dining in America. Even in the more civilised bits.

My mate from university married a Texan girl, nearly ten years ago now. We went out for the wedding, and the night before were invited to a meal after the rehersal with all the brodes extended family. Really nice it was, lovely people, top food.

But.

Me and Mrs B (Ms B then) were sat together, next to my mate ("put all the limeys together!"), and when we all started to tuck in (after they said Grace FFS - bible belt) I became aware, after a few minutes, that *everyone* apart from my mate, Mrs B and myself had stopped eating and was gawping at us, slack-jawed.

My mate's brother-in-law to be goes "Wow. You guys really know how to use a knife and fork, huh?"

They're all there using the side of the fork (in the right hand), to try to cut through stuff. Left the knives on the table, as if they were bloody ornaments.

Bride-to-be says to my mate "You are so teaching our kids how to use a knife and fork."

This was just outside Dallas - f**king great big metropolis - not in backwoods Bumfuque, Oklahoma. And none of them could correctly operate a knife and fork. There were four generations of family there - none of them could use a knife and fork.

Posted By: Arizona Bay, Sep 16, 18:39:56