New Ipswich Striker..

Abdul Aqbar from Iraq scores hatrick to beat Norwich in the local derby 3 nil.

Royle says "You're fantastic, the crowd love you, you're our new hero. You can have anything you want!"

Abdul says "All I want is to phone my dear mother at home to tell her what I've done"

Royle says "No probs, here's my mobile, take your time"

On the phone Abdul says"Hi mum its me your son. I have made you very proud today. I scored a hattrick to win the Anglian Derby and everyone in Ipswich loves me"

"Well thats great son" says Mrs Aqbar "but we have problems here. First of all, your father was shot in the street by a marauding gang. Then your sister was raped by 6 men before being dumped outside the house. Then our home was torched and your brother stabbed for being an infidel"

"Mother that is terrible" says Abdul

"Yes, Abdul" says Mother " and it's all your fault"

"My fault Mother? Why" asks a frantic Abdul

"Well you moved us to sodding Ipswich in the first place you t**t"

Posted By: Chelmsford Yella, Sep 18, 21:41:23