What if, right, yeah, you were walking backwards down Bedford Street

when a pouting Jezebel whizzed up on her Hoffmann Scarab El, did a cherry picker right over your adidas Decade Hi B-Balls and landed thighs akimbo, with only a flimsy scrap of polycotton between you and her bubbling growler?

Would you run off to Natwest bank to take money out of the machine like a loon while hopping on one leg and shouting "I'm a wrong un", or would you kneel down and gently slip your Zippo lighter ever so slightly between her labia while whistling "My Old Man's A Dustman"?

Hmmm?

In the not at all improbable event of this happening to you, which of these alternative courses of action would you pick?

Posted By: ma1kybarkid, Jan 13, 17:49:59