Pete Doherty

This week, the 'Who The F*** Is Pete Doherty' documentary dry-heaved its way out of the UK's television sets an left an entire nation STILL waiting for any sign of Pete's 'unique' talent as opposed to a circa-1997 school band playing upstairs in Derby's Lord Nelson with no-one watching but their parents, a girl dressed up as a fairy and a man with a parka and a gammy hand.

In it, it was claimed that NME hack Tim Jonez was almost thrown out of a moving car by Pointless Pete as he took exception to Jonez's apparently "boring" questions. The real story isn't so swashbuckling and doesn't rely on the dull myth that the hypodermic halfwit is somehow 'breaking the rules' and 'sticking one to The Man' by " er " fighting, smoking crack, rubbing his filthy disease-springboard fingers all over a goose-faced supermodel and writing songs that the Clash wouldn't even have considered as b-sides.

What actually happened " and what caused the car to swerve across three lanes of traffic on the motorway " was that the Crazy Frog on crack was fighting with his long-suffering PR Tony Linkin over a pipe. Tony thought Pete should try and make it through the NME quizzing without chemical aid.

Posted By: Yellow Jersey, Sep 6, 19:02:16