Celtic seal Jafski switch

The football world north of the border was in shock today after Celtic agreed to a ?1 million a year deal to make Jafski their new manager.
The highly-regarded Kings Arms drinker has finally agreed to take the reigns at the Scottish giant after the club agreed to throw in as many onion bhajis as he could eat, and an unlimited supply of Special Brew, on top of the six-figure salary.
Jafski had been reluctant to make the journey north, describing Scottish football as a "risible pile of w**k".
But Bhoys chairman Jock McSporran knew that the promise of enough strong alcohol and food heavy in saturated fats could tip the balance.
"I'm sure he's not here for the football, but let's face it, any old c**t could get Celtic in the top two," he added.
Jafski refused to comment, and is already believed to be agitating for a new contract including pork scratchings and a barrel of Adnams Broadside a day.

Posted By: jamesward, Mar 3, 12:29:56