Steve do you speak dutch? if so could you translate a few

lines of english into dutch for me?

Basically we have a dutch round table coming over to visit us on friday and we want to stitch up our chairman who cannot speak dutch.

the idea is that he thinks he is saying "welcome to england, hope you have a nice trip yadda yadda yadda."

but we want it to say something like...

Good Evening Everyone,

For those who do not know me, I am an idiot. I bore people to death by talking all the time and I talk for england.

I have a very small penis and I love Men. If anyone is interested raise your hand.

the dutch guys who are coming are a great laugh and will find this funny, but we dont want it to be too rude as its a formal dinner.

cheers

Posted By: Tony Martin, Feb 25, 11:20:56