My responce to Wobbie Cowardling....

I would like to say a big thank you to Colchester United fans for the fantastic support you have given me.

(Yeah they turned up to see you and your gormless dimpled-chin. I heard there was a live feed on your seat on the internet, bet365 had exclusive rights in ...er...where was it?...er..Oh yeah! Some place where no-one gives a f**k)

I hope I have demonstrated my passion for Colchester United

(If you consider passion for a football club as pretending to be on the phone before TV interviews whilst sending out endless w**ky statements with your cock that caused the police presence to probably triple and therefore cost sheds loads of cash... then yes, yes you have. )

and, although the outcome of Saturday's game was not what we had all hoped for,

(We? I can promise you a 1/4...maybe a 1/3 of that ground, hoped exactly for that outcome)

I was very proud of the way the Colchester United fans got behind their club.

(And...I was proud of the way those two coppers got behind Colchester's version of Selwyn by tackling him into a puddle facefirst)

Personally I use every set back in my life to motivate me to try harder and to do better. I have experienced much worse days than Saturday and used those exceptional lows to drive me on to many of the exceptional highs that I have also been fortunate enough to experience.

(President Obama on the phone, we wants his speech back...)

I promise you all that today I am more determined for Colchester United than ever before.

(Hopefully, you'll get beat 5-0 every game then. That way, you'll be CEO of the Scottish FA in...3 to 4 years)

Because of the people that I mix with, I am used to people telling me exactly what they think of me,

(Lets not bring your love life to peoples attention, Robbie.)

But Saturday was the first time that thousands said it together.

(Like a Queen concert...All we hear is...clap, clap...Robbie's a w**ker,..clap, clap....Robbie's a tosser...clap, clap)

Well Col U fans were correct, there is only one Robbie Cowling.

(Thank god)

The Norwich fans were correct, he is a bit of a w****r
at times

(At times? Flattery will get you everywhere)

and as for "Cowling, Cowling what's the score?" It's 7 v 6 to the mighty Colchester.

(Wait...Season's not over yet ...could be one more game, at Wembley. Oh no wait...we'll be Champions by then....I can hear the Queen concert again..)

So let's get right behind Aidy and the team, because there are still a lot games to play and I know how much they too appreciate your support.

(Cue the support dropping to 7,000 next game)

Robbie

(First name terms, cute. Thanks for Paul, Ian and Gary.)

Posted By: songwriter, Jan 18, 17:02:42