FAO Kenton Canary - summary of that Christmas Fable on the Oink'Un

in the style of Dan Brown, as he's a far better writer than the bloke who wrote that Oink'Un thing, or me.

Neil DOOMcaster (ROFL! LMAO!) was Chief Executive of Norwich City Football Club. Running a football team is a bit like fighting in World War II against the evil Nazis, ruminated the wealthy Chief Executive.

The Northern Irish manager of Norwich City was doing badly, but in the past he'd been good. "I'm going to have to sack him" thought the Chief Executive. This made him sad, but he did it.

Then the chief executive made Peter Grant the new manager. The ranty, pointy Scotch man was bad at managing the team, and bought lots of bad players, making the team more badder. This made DOOMcaster even more sadder, and he had to sack the ranty, pointy Scotch man before his plan to play the Proclaimers in the dressing room happened.

The Chief Executive decided he wanted a more famous man to manage the team, which was liking fighting a war. He found a man who resembled Gordon Brittas and made him manager.

The man who was like Gordon Brittas did well for a while, but then he kept being rude to people and borrowing bad players (like Troy Archibald-Henville, whose name sounded like a war captain, reinforcing the boring war metaphor). The Brittas-man became too rude and too rubbish and the Chief Executive had to sack him, which made him sad again.

To try to make the angry fans happy, the Chief Executive made Bryan Gunn manager. Bryan Gunn used to be a good player for Norwich, and the angry fans liked him. But it turned out that the former goalkeeper wasn't really a manager, and he picked a bad team against bad Charlton on the last day of a bad season, and Norwich got relegated to a division that was more bad than the one they'd been in before.

Then the Chief Executive left, fed up with all the badness and sadness and madness. There was more madness, though, as the Chief Executive-less club made Bryan Gunn manager again for some reason.

Then a new Chief Executive came in who was better and angrier than the one before. Norwich lost 7-1 to Colchester at home, which was more bad than anything that had happened before, and it made everyone sad. So he sacked Bryan Gunn and got the Colchester bloke to manage Norwich, and everyone except all involved with Colchester were not sad any more.

That's it.

Posted By: Ottosson Foxtrot, Dec 14, 12:14:23