A duck goes into a bar, gets a pint and then

says to the barman "Got any nuts?"

The barman says, "No, sorry. Crisps, Frazzles and pork scratchings, but no nuts"

"Oh", says the duck, and sits quietly drinking for a while. Then he says "Got any nuts?" "No", says the barman, "I just told you. No nuts."

After a few more minutes the duck says again "Got any nuts?" This time the barman loses it. "Listen you feathered f**kwit", he shouts. "I've told you twice - NO NUTS. If you ask me one more time, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar!!"

The duck looks a bit scared and sips his pint silently for five minutes. Then he catches the barman's eye and asks, very quietly, "Got any nails?"

"NO" shouts the barman. "This is a pub, not a f**king hardware store!!"

"Good", says the duck. "Got any nuts?"

Posted By: Old Git, Feb 17, 12:31:26