Bill Bailey's Love Ballad

Bill Bailey's Love Ballad

I was alone my heart was cold it was a stone,
my soul was lonely like a stone - there was no moss.
And when I danced I danced alone but then I did not dance
because I was alone. So I did not dance.
I shuffled through life invisible to all the happy couples who would mock me with their merry laughter – “ha-ha-ha”.
The only sound I heard in my lonely silent world was the rusty hammer of my heart nailing at the hatred in my soul.

But then you came,
and my life was turned upside down.
You showed me the beauty of the things that I had never seen.
Like a snowflake that melts on the eyelash of a startled deer.
Or the painting of a dog that wears a deerstalker and
smokes a pipe that made you laugh so heartily,
but I had previously thought was rubbish.
Or the duck that lands so clumsily on a frozen pond in winter
but the intoxicating power of our love transforms this simple act into an anthropomorphic drama where Mr. Duck’s embarrassed and the other ducks are laughing (quack quack quack quack quack).

AND THEN YOU LEFT!
And I have died a thousand deaths and I will die a thousand more!
I thought you were an angel - you turned out to be a whore!
And everything has turned to dust! Everything is infected with the plague!
Why did you have to sleep with Craig?
"Oh he's so sensitive, he's got a tattoo."
Yeah, carving your name with a compass in my forehead was not enough for you!

The snow flake on the eye of the deer has turned to
puss that oozes from an open wound.
The deer now blind it stumbles into a ravine.
Mr Duck lies shredded in a pancake,
soaking in the hoisin of your lies.
The dog has moved from the pipe to 60 cigarettes a day,
and coughs away his life in the cold neon research lab of your betrayal.
Of your betrayal...

Posted By: Dalai Farmer on October 13th 2007 at 00:09:14

Message Thread

Jonathon Ross tonight - talking to Peter Andre (NCFC) - lovely old job, Oct 12, 23:42:48
- fcjing spelling shit, I must have had a dink (n/m) (NCFC) - lovely old job, Oct 12, 23:49:00
  - Charlie Brookers screenwipe on bbc four at 00.10, get watching bubba! (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Oct 12, 23:54:15
    - Serafinowicz was good in bits too. (NCFC) - yarmyyarmy, Oct 13, 00:01:59
    - ok (n/m) (NCFC) - lovely old job, Oct 12, 23:57:51
    - Good call. (n/m) (NCFC) - tudders, Oct 12, 23:55:03
- Plenty to commend Andre for. (NCFC) - Dalai Farmer, Oct 12, 23:48:17
  - Dalai Farmer - QI - that made me laugh like an immature ied that did (n/m) (NCFC) - Yellalee, Oct 12, 23:51:44
    - it did be tibet. (n/m) (NCFC) - lovely old job, Oct 12, 23:53:21
      - lol (n/m) (NCFC) - Yellalee, Oct 12, 23:55:45
  - QI name courtesy of that cockney comedian who is quite funny but also annoys me (n/m) (NCFC) - yarmyyarmy, Oct 12, 23:50:38
    - Sean Lock? (NCFC) - Dalai Farmer, Oct 12, 23:56:45
      - The main cause of my dislike for him... (NCFC) - yarmyyarmy, Oct 13, 00:00:16
        
        Oh yeah, but Bill Bailey is fantastic. (n/m) (NCFC) - yarmyyarmy, Oct 13, 00:05:14
        
        Yes he is. (NCFC) - Dalai Farmer, Oct 13, 00:07:06
        
        Bill Bailey's Love Ballad (NCFC) - Dalai Farmer, Oct 13, 00:09:14
    - Who? Missed it. (n/m) (NCFC) - tudders, Oct 12, 23:54:04
      - Sean Lock (n/m) (NCFC) - Yellalee, Oct 12, 23:56:58
      - Um, speccy chelsea fan. Got his own thing on Channel 4 called TV Hell or something. (n/m) (NCFC) - yarmyyarmy, Oct 12, 23:56:02
  - haha, I agree. (n/m) (NCFC) - lovely old job, Oct 12, 23:50:26

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