a man walks into a bar, barman asks "What'll it be?"

man goes "as i'm driving i'll have a pint of Coke please"

Barman replies "sorry sir, but the EU has decreed that we can only sell soft-drinks by metric measures, therefore i'll give you a large glass of Coke instead"

man goes "that'll be fine by me"

Posted By: blindasabat on August 24th 2007 at 15:22:31

Message Thread

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?" (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 15:12:12
- a man walks into a bar, barman asks "What'll it be?" (General Chat) - blindasabat, Aug 24, 15:22:31
  - A nun walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 15:44:34
- Midget goes into a bar, (General Chat) - tudders, Aug 24, 15:14:32
  - A girl goes into a bar and asks for a double entendre. (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 15:34:45
    - who's he? (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 24, 15:37:15
      - the landlady (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 15:51:09
        
        Is that Slippery's (General Chat) - APB, Aug 24, 15:52:16
        
        Affirmative Pal. Been? (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 15:53:19
        
        9.25/10 (n/m) (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 15:57:17
        
        Very good. No, but used to live round the corner... (General Chat) - APB, Aug 24, 15:55:38
        
        Used to do ricklious lock-ins when it was Slippery's. (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 15:58:38
        
        As a rule I don't mind (quite like) scary / sleazy pubs (General Chat) - APB, Aug 24, 16:05:00
        
        ASBO Pub Brigade? (n/m) (General Chat) - Dog, Aug 24, 16:09:02
        
        Me too. Me and Tuds are planning a scary pubs tour if you want in. I think Garry Brooke (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:07:35
        
        How scary? (n/m) (General Chat) - APB, Aug 24, 16:09:10
        
        The scariest ones in Naaaadge. (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:11:49
        
        Have you started a list? (n/m) (General Chat) - Brom, Aug 24, 16:13:37
        
        The Romany on Colman road? Might be a Joe Baxi job (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:15:00
        
        I think that's been bastardised (General Chat) - Small, Aug 24, 16:24:46
        
        Farmhouse is fine (n/m) (General Chat) - Brom, Aug 24, 16:30:22
        
        It bloody well isn't (n/m) (General Chat) - Small, Aug 24, 16:34:20
        
        lol (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:31:33
        
        Didn'y someone do a stab on someone in there not so long ago? (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:34:25
        
        I think someone beat a girl up (General Chat) - Small, Aug 24, 16:35:49
        
        The girl does? Weird. (n/m) (General Chat) - tudders, Aug 24, 16:38:19
        
        Are you talking about the one next to Eaton Park? (General Chat) - Brom, Aug 24, 16:33:07
        
        Yes - corner of South Park Avenue and Colman road. (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:36:23
        
        Farmhouse does have it's moments. (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:29:36
        
        The Fartsease is near Garry Brooke (General Chat) - Small, Aug 24, 16:33:46
        
        Whoops! Confused The Windmill with The Castle. (n/m) (General Chat) - Small, Aug 24, 16:37:09
        
        Mixed toilets? That goes straight to the top of the list. (General Chat) - tudders, Aug 24, 16:36:10
        
        I was thinking of The Castle (General Chat) - Small, Aug 24, 16:41:07
        
        lollipops (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:39:01
        
        can you clarify (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 24, 16:36:01
        
        Neither. Goutface, DJ Gout or Tumnly Over Ben. (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:43:09
        
        *Tumbly obviously (or not so obviously) (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:43:48
        
        Oh (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 24, 16:45:16
        
        I'm not, no. EoM and NG do pop on occasionally - both King'sed it on Saturday with wrath (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:47:21
        
        I did pop to the Mac counter in Jarrolds (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 24, 16:49:26
        
        No. He's tumbly over Ben (n/m) (General Chat) - Small, Aug 24, 16:38:48
        
        and who's his aunty? (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 24, 16:38:01
        
        Olive, off On The Busses. (n/m) (General Chat) - tudders, Aug 24, 16:43:13
        
        rolfes (n/m) (General Chat) - Small, Aug 24, 16:51:55
        
        Joe Baxi? What kind of speak is that? (n/m) (General Chat) - tudders, Aug 24, 16:16:50
        
        Scotch, entut? (n/m) (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:17:40
        
        Austin - it's 'Austin'. Austin Maxi = cab. (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:18:53
        
        Oh that's much much better. (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:20:01
        
        Nah it's fine. The Fiveways is quite scary. (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:15:45
        
        When you've drank in the Vauxhall Vaults on Scottie Rd, you know what a scarey pub should (General Chat) - tudders, Aug 24, 16:20:05
        
        I'd imagine any pub in that area of the city is fairly scarey (n/m) (General Chat) - Brom, Aug 24, 16:19:02
        
        Never assume Brom, it makes an ASS out of U and ME. (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:25:23
        
        *scary (n/m) (General Chat) - Brom, Aug 24, 16:19:06
        
        Yes. Yes it is. (n/m) (General Chat) - APB, Aug 24, 16:16:59
        
        Myself and assorted mates used to go the length of Magdalen Street from Tombland (General Chat) - APB, Aug 24, 16:21:57
        
        I went in the Artichoke loads of times when one armed Rueben moved to Norwich. (General Chat) - tudders, Aug 24, 16:32:25
        
        I used to go in the Artichoke loads. (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:33:49
        
        Pal of mine had a chair thrown at him in one of them. (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:26:58
        
        Sounds about right. (n/m) (General Chat) - APB, Aug 24, 16:33:55
        
        It's got a Baker's Oven though. (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:29:36
        
        Let's put a date on this. Next home game after Cardiff? (n/m) (General Chat) - tudders, Aug 24, 16:13:12
        
        You've been talking about this scary pubs tour for yares and yares. (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:13:04
        
        Start at BSG, then downwards from there. Wet-dog-tastic. (n/m) (General Chat) - tudders, Aug 24, 16:11:07
        
        The BSG isn't that scary (well, not in a frightening sort of a way). In a weird sort of (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:13:12
        
        Help... (General Chat) - APB, Aug 24, 16:12:55
        
        Ber Street Gates (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:13:50
        
        Of course. (General Chat) - APB, Aug 24, 16:15:43
      - The barman (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 15:50:45
        
        Even "Knock, knock" ones? (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 15:51:32
        
        Knock Knock (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:01:04
        
        Who is there? (n/m) (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:06:39
        
        Owen (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:07:59
        
        Who is there? (n/m) (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:18:26
        
        tim berry (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:07:58
        
        I see your point. (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:08:24
        
        Okay, knock knock... (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:10:29
        
        Who's there? (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:10:49
        
        tim berry (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:11:32
        
        Nope, still not quite there. (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:14:19
        
        ha ha. Genuine stifled lol. (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 24, 16:15:44
        
        Okay. Knock knock. (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:17:47
        
        Who's there? (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:18:14
        
        A mouse with clogs on? (n/m) (General Chat) - Dog, Aug 24, 16:23:29
        
        No. (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:24:07
        
        malkybarkid (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:18:57
        
        it's a gesture Tim, but needs work. (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:20:23
        
        it's a gesture Tim, but needs work. (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:20:22
        
        Okay. (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:24:38
        
        Okay, last one. Knock knock. (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:25:42
        
        Who's there? (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:31:32
        
        Tim Berry? Are you still there? Malky's back. (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 24, 16:36:37
        
        Excellent, but it wasn't tim berry.... (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:48:34
        
        Ok. Who's there? (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 16:52:53
        
        Avon man, he came to collect the catalogue. (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 17:03:40
        
        I see. Know any limericks? (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Aug 24, 17:04:21
        
        I think he's given up. Who's there? (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 24, 16:27:42
        
        Nobody anymore, malkybarkid din't answer so they left a message with his mum. (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:30:50
        
        that doesn't make sense. (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 24, 16:32:06
        
        You're right, it doesn't... (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:33:24
        
        I think I've enjoyed this thread more than anything in ages (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 24, 16:28:41
        
        No. (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:29:32
        
        Do I come across like a girl? (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:34:13
        
        only when you're trying to tell jokes (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 24, 16:35:18
        
        You mean there's a way of telling jokes that is considered feminine... (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:40:36
        
        Of course there is. (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:42:48
        
        Linda Smith? (n/m) (General Chat) - tim berry, Aug 24, 16:52:01
        
        Haven't heard her tell any good jokes lately. (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 24, 16:56:44
        
        Ouch. You're lucky that's tucked away all the way down here. (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 24, 17:00:35
        
        I did. (n/m) (General Chat) - APB, Aug 24, 17:18:03
        
        yes, but I don't really dare say any more. (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 24, 16:41:49
        
        exactly my point (n/m) (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 24, 16:37:03
        
        Tim (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 24, 16:11:09

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