I can't keep a straight face which doesn't help

What really gets me is that form: are you currently engaged in acts of genocide? Are you currently smuggling drugs? Are you a mass-murdering paedophile? Do you own anything by the Osmonds?

And then you get the US Marine-wannabe who comes up, looks you in the face and says "US Department of agriculture. You carrying any plant material?" in the best leatherlung "on your face and give me twenty RIGHT NOW MOTHERFUCKER" voice he can muster.

And finally after three hours of queues you get "America welcomes you". With a total lack of irony (which, being in America, isn't that surprising after all...)

Posted By: Partial Angler on August 10th 2006 at 11:12:16

Message Thread

Is anyone flying in the near future... (General Chat) - Brom, Aug 10, 11:02:34
- Me. I was booked to fly out of here to LHR tomorrow. (General Chat) - mike_the_sphinx, Aug 10, 11:15:01
- ryanair charge extra for luggage now (General Chat) - Dave in France, Aug 10, 11:04:32
  - They announced quite early this AM that they're not charging to put stuff in the hold (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 10, 11:12:55
  - they're waiving the charges for the present (n/m) (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 10, 11:06:04
  - doubt they will under the circumstances (General Chat) - mr carra, Aug 10, 11:06:00
  - It's alright for you - imagine what the women will go through (General Chat) - Partial Angler, Aug 10, 11:05:56
    - My girlfriend thinks lipstick should be classed as essential medication (n/m) (General Chat) - DonLogan, Aug 10, 11:08:25
    - nothing to read either (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 10, 11:06:56
      - Books are banned???? (n/m) (General Chat) - InTheAbsenceOfAHorse, Aug 10, 11:16:23
        
        Yep. And newspapers. (n/m) (General Chat) - Partial Angler, Aug 10, 11:18:25
        
        Don't start. (n/m) (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 10, 11:21:48
        
        Yep. And newspapers. (n/m) (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 10, 11:17:57
        
        two seconds (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 10, 11:18:27
        
        I typed "And newspapers", and then thought ... (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 10, 11:22:31
        
        yep, and newspapers (n/m) (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 10, 11:17:55
- yeah and I aint fucking happy... (General Chat) - Sperminator, Aug 10, 11:03:06
  - Do you actually believe it? (General Chat) - Winged Eel Creosote, Aug 10, 11:07:09
    - Do you think this threat has been made up then (n/m) (General Chat) - earlydoors, Aug 10, 11:10:18
      - Of course it's genuine (General Chat) - Winged Eel Creosote, Aug 10, 11:15:08
        
        So you think it is all a load of hype and there is no substance in any of it (n/m) (General Chat) - earlydoors, Aug 10, 11:16:09
  - I'm flying to the States in 3 weeks... (General Chat) - Brom, Aug 10, 11:04:01
    - me too. Hope things are better then (n/m) (General Chat) - earlydoors, Aug 10, 11:10:49
    - ooh thats a bit of a worry... (General Chat) - Sperminator, Aug 10, 11:06:40
      - the day I wouldn't want to fly (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 10, 11:08:33
        
        thats probably when im going.. (General Chat) - Sperminator, Aug 10, 11:09:46
      - Next few weeks is probably the safest time there is to fly to the US (n/m) (General Chat) - Partial Angler, Aug 10, 11:07:23
        
        In the words of General Melchett... (General Chat) - DonLogan, Aug 10, 11:10:13
        
        good old field marshall haigh (n/m) (General Chat) - SCC 26, Aug 10, 11:11:02
        
        and its also... (General Chat) - Sperminator, Aug 10, 11:09:04
        
        It's going to be horrible going through customs in the States... (General Chat) - Brom, Aug 10, 11:08:48
        
        I can't keep a straight face which doesn't help (General Chat) - Partial Angler, Aug 10, 11:12:16
        
        I got the closest pat-down body search imaginable (with clothes still on) as U.S immigrati (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 10, 11:17:24
        
        make sure you keep your feet fresh (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 10, 11:11:35
        
        i reckon some of them search people are right pervs... (General Chat) - Sperminator, Aug 10, 11:12:39
        
        I've had my shoes checked once when leaving the States... (General Chat) - Brom, Aug 10, 11:12:28
        
        that's what I meant... (General Chat) - camcan, Aug 10, 11:16:12
        
        We got singled out for a hold-luggage search at DFW when leaving the US (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 10, 11:21:03
        
        and you look like a terrorist (n/m) (General Chat) - SCC 26, Aug 10, 11:09:34
        
        if you blow up in the air you shouldn't feel too much!.. (General Chat) - Sperminator, Aug 10, 11:10:46
        
        And you look like a c**t (n/m) (General Chat) - Brom, Aug 10, 11:09:52
    - You'll need to swim now (n/m) (General Chat) - Partial Angler, Aug 10, 11:04:56

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