I’d like to recommend a book for you Charles

It’s called Immunity to Change.

The book posits that we go through three potential phases of development as adults.

Phase one is where we have socialised minds. We don’t really have opinions of our own, we accept opinions from influential people around us. At work, we might be described as loyal team players, as they agree and do what they’re told. We listen to politicians we like, and instinctively agree with what they say. But we blow with the wind.

Some people over time then go on to develop self authoring minds. This is Phase 2. In this period, we look around us and really know what we think, and we’re convinced we’ve thought it all through and have landed on the right answer. We assert our opinions with absolute confidence. As bosses, we tell people we’re doing it this way, we won’t listen to different views. We’ve all had that boss who is “my way or the highway”. They are self authoring. The gobby bloke who loves to argue over the pub? Self authoring. You tend to also focus on evidence that reinforces your view. And you reject evidence that doesn’t as not worth considering.

The third phase of adult development involves becoming a self transforming mind. In this phase you appreciate that your view, your opinion, your preferred solution, what you think is right and wrong, is highly influenced by who you are. Your priors, your experiences, your skills, your blind spots. The action logic that informs how you think things through. You consciously accept that other people may see things differently to you. And this isn’t because they’re stupid, or you’re stupid, but because of all the things listed above that they have and hold that may be different to you. You rejoice in the thought that the gap between what you currently think, and what they think, may provide an opportunity for self reflection and learning. And that the learning might be mutual, and lead to a deeper level of understanding in your team or community. A richer truth that neither of you may have got to individually. You actively welcome challenge, and invite people to stress test your thinking with openness and without hostility.

Very few people make it to 3. Most people are stuck in one or two. People in group one don’t tend to have strong opinions. They agree with whoever spoke last, as long as it’s reasonably cogent, until the next reasonably cogent person tells them something different. People in group 2 are intransigent and argumentative and completely immune to reason, as they KNOW they’re right. They’ll reject any contrary evidence without even considering it.

I’ll let you have a guess as to where different wrath posters are on their personal development, and who has a chance of making it to the top of the development ladder.

Posted By: Under soil heating on January 11th 2026 at 12:41:38

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