In a world where football is king… one team is about to face their toughest opponent yet.

(Quick cuts: masked men storming the training ground, players shoved into the locker room, machine guns in the trophy cabinet.)

“When an Eastern European gang takes over the training complex… they think they’ve scored the perfect goal.”

(Close-up: Jason Statham glaring, dropping a tactics board to the floor.)

“But they didn’t count on the manager.”

(Statham growls: “You picked the wrong club.” — smashes a thug into a vending machine.)

“He’s not just setting the formation… he’s breaking it.”

(Montage: Statham headbutts a gangster into the goalpost, slide tackles another through a glass door, uses a corner flag as a javelin. throws another headfirst into the beehive, dunks one in the hydrotherapy pool)

“This summer… the beautiful game gets ugly.”

(Explosions, slow-motion shot of a football sailing through the air — smashing into a gangster’s face.)

Voiceover, booming:
“Jason Statham is… The Manager.

“No subs. No rules. No mercy.”

Posted By: Ken Dodds Dads Dog on September 17th 2025 at 14:43:08

Message Thread

FFS (NCFC) - SimonOTBC, Sep 17, 14:03:35
- Duffy out with a calf injury. (n/m) (NCFC) - The Gaffer, Sep 17, 14:33:49
  - AA (n/m) (NCFC) - footymadman, Sep 17, 17:48:30
- At least he doesn't need surgery but our record with injuries is flan. (n/m) (NCFC) - DrDublin, Sep 17, 14:26:40
  - Think he's missed quite a few games most seasons he's played (NCFC) - SimonOTBC, Sep 17, 14:29:02
  - Yes, I feared longer tbh (n/m) (NCFC) - jamesward, Sep 17, 14:27:34
- 🟡🟢 Who would play you in a biopic? "Someone going bald I think, I've no idea who," says (NCFC) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Sep 17, 14:22:25
  - Has to be The Stathe (NCFC) - inutero, Sep 17, 14:29:48
    - Former special forces operative turned football coach, Jack Manning... (n/m) (NCFC) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Sep 17, 14:35:30
      - In a world where football is king… one team is about to face their toughest opponent yet. (NCFC) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Sep 17, 14:43:08
        
        Oh massive round of applause! POTS right there (n/m) (NCFC) - Old Git, Sep 17, 15:38:12
      - Final showdown takes place in a the veg patch (NCFC) - inutero, Sep 17, 14:41:58
        
        Up his bottom? (n/m) (NCFC) - jamesward, Sep 17, 15:01:42
        
        Not the right demographic (NCFC) - inutero, Sep 17, 18:08:44
  - Woody Harrelsen (if he could go back 20 odd years) (n/m) (NCFC) - SimonOTBC, Sep 17, 14:23:26
- A right kick in the balls that news (n/m) (NCFC) - Trent_Canary, Sep 17, 14:04:34
  - Could be a long ol' season (n/m) (NCFC) - SimonOTBC, Sep 17, 14:06:51
    - I'm praying this is engagement farming 😔 (n/m) (NCFC) - Men without hats, Sep 17, 14:23:19

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