The Frank Lampards Derby Ram...

As I was going to Frank Lampard's Darby, Sir,
All on a market day,
I met the finest Ram, Sir,
That ever was fed on hay.

This Ram was fat behind, Sir,
This Ram was fat before,
This Ram was ten yards high, Sir,
Indeed he was no more.

The Wool upon his back, Sir,
Reached up unto the sky,
The Eagles made their nests there, Sir,
For I heard the young ones cry.

The Wool upon his belly, Sir,
It dragged upon the ground,
It was sold in Frank Lampard's Darby town, Sir,
For forty thousand pound.

The space between his horns, Sir,
Was as far as a man could reach,
And there they built a pulpit
For the Parson there to preach.

The teeth that were in his mouth, Sir,
Were like a regiment of men;
And the tongue that hung between them, Sir,
Would have dined them twice and again.

This Ram jumped o'er a wall, Sir,
His tail caught on a briar,
It reached from Frank Lampard's Darby town, Sir,
All into Leicestershire.... oh Maaadison!

And of this tail so long, Sir,
'Twas ten miles and an ell,
They made a goodly rope, Sir,
To toll the market bell.

This Ram had four legs to walk on, Sir,
This Ram had four legs to stand,
And every leg he had, Sir,
Stood on an acre of land.

The Butcher that killed this Ram, Sir,
Was drownded in the blood,
And the boy that held the pail, Sir,
Was carried away in the flood.

All the maids in Frank Lampard's Darby, Sir,
Came begging for his horns,
To take them to coopers,
To make them milking gawns.

The little boys of Frank Lampard's Darby, Sir,
They came to beg his eyes,
To kick about the streets, Sir,
For they were football size.

The tanner that tanned its hide, Sir,
Would never be poor any more,
For when he had tanned and retched it,
It covered all Sinfin Moor.

Indeed, Sir, this is true, Sir,
I never was taught to lie,
And if you go to Frank Lampard's Darby, Sir,
You may eat a bit of the pie.

Posted By: Worthing Yellow on October 3rd 2018 at 00:01:26

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