Steve Ryder

Steve Ryder was strolling down the Cannes Boulevard with John Inverdale. Both in big fancy power suits and Rayban shades. An old lady flashes him a smile and he glowers. "Come on John I'm fed up with this attention , let's get away from the plebs and go to a fancy restaurant". So they go to the fanciest restaurant in town, La Lait Vert, and is it's in the middle of the film festival it's jammed full of stars. There's a big queue winding down the alley. Well Steve Ryder is not having any of it and he pushes in front of Dustin Hoffman and Moira Stewart and marches straight up to the head waiter. "Garcon! Direct me to your best table and get me two flutes of your finest wine" snaps Ryder, but the waiter bars his way. "Pardon Monsieur, the restaurant it iz full. Please take your place in ze queue". Well Steve Ryder blows a gasket and starts ranting and raving. "But I'm Steve Ryder. I've never been so insulted in my life." But the waiter refuses to budge and soon Steve Ryder starts to get embarrassed. He sidles on up to the waiter and whispers "Look here, I've got John Inverdale with me and we're in delicate discussions about who's presenting the rugby super league, if I give you a ?1000 will you let us have a table?" Well the Concierge holds his nose up in the air, does a Gallic sniff, but pockets the money. "Come on Inverdale it looks like they got their wires crossed. They've asked Harold Faltermeyer to move to a side room, and we've got his fancy table." So they both march to the front of the queue but the waiter cries "Halt!"
"But I thought we had a deal" pleads Ryder.
"Non, Non, back to the end of the queue" says the waiter " I took your Grand but still you will Stand!"

Posted By: mickfoot on January 19th 2006 at 13:23:02

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