Very good article on the TV commentators last night...

Martin Kelner (great broadcaster) writes in the Grauniad...

After such a remarkable night for Liverpool I am reluctant to get all Lynne Truss about the commentary but that is kind of what I am here for. So I have to ask if there is a chance sports commentators will ever learn to use the word ironic in any thing approaching its proper sense?
Deep into extra-time and over a shot of Steven Gerrard ITV's Clive Tyldesley says the captain's second-half display demonstrates his value to the Liverpool team. "It's ironic," Tyldesley declares, "that the last time Liverpool won this trophy Graeme Souness wore the captain's armband and he never played for Liverpool again."

In what sense, pray, is that ironic? Should Gerrard leave Liverpool it might be called coincidental but the needle on my irony detector remains unmoved. I have lost count of the number of local radio commentaries I have heard when players have been described as "ironically" scoring on returns to former clubs but at the top table of European football you expect better.

Not that the misunderstanding of the concept of irony is likely to rob ITV of exclusive rights for future European Cups, for which they are currently reportedly locked in combat with Sky. That will be about money - is football ever about anything else? - although Sky would win the battle if the quality of coverage last night were taken into account.

Rob Hawthorne on Sky is a no-nonsense commentator, the Sami Hyypia of the commentary box, eschewing the flamboyant in favour of efficiency, while Tyldesley, to borrow an expression from his erstwhile cohort Big Ron, likes to play the Hollywood ball, often ill-advisedly.

"The students of history have graduated with honours of their own," he enthused at the conclusion of the penalty shoot-out. "They never forgot what it feels like to be the best." And so on and so forth.

Actually, at that point you could forgive him the odd flourish.

What really works in those circumstances is shots of footballers acting stupid, a sweep of fans in the stands stripped to the waist proving that health food still has not caught on in Liverpool and some bloke screaming cobblers over the top of them. Either that, or what was going on over on Sky, where some youth player put his arm round Gerrard in mid-interview and shouted: "F***ing right, la."

During the match itself you are looking for something a little different, however, maybe even a little analysis, and Andy Gray remains on top in this area. Andy Townsend on ITV is perfectly adequate but seems a little reluctant to jump in when Tyldesley is in full flow. Perhaps he needs a season or two.

Sky had also taken the precaution of getting a loose cannon on board. The nutter quotient should not be underestimated in giving you an edge on these occasions and Sky picked something of a winner in Phil Thompson.

"Stevie Wonder could have seen that," was his considered analysis of the referee's dismissal of Liverpool's hand-ball claims just before half-time, in what I like to think of as the Big Ron memorial moment. As Liverpool pegged back Milan's lead they put a camera on Thompson in the studio as the BBC used to do with Ian Wright. By the time the third one went in Thompson was banging on the glass.

Actually, we were all pretty well like that round my manor as well. It was a marvellous night and will have done Istanbul no harm in their bid to get the 2016 Olympics. They even demonstrated they could do a stupid opening ceremony, apparently performed by 800 Turkish military cadets but looking more like a bunch of fat blokes in big red shirts floating round on hover mowers. I enjoyed it all immensely and I am a West Ham fan. How about that for irony?

Posted By: Jim Nasium on May 26th 2005 at 13:59:50

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