Slightly too wordy...
'the tunnel of gloom that had encapsulated, engulfed and infected all things yellow and green recently.'
I think readers look for key themes which they look to be covered off.
The bad run
Hooper
Adams
Phelan
etc etc
Keep it snappier with shorter passages
Posted By: Goalmusic on December 20th 2014 at 20:18:30
Message Thread
- Xmas Cracker from Whittaker.. (NCFC) - Warren Hill, Dec 20, 20:05:57
- Slightly too wordy... (NCFC) - Goalmusic, Dec 20, 20:18:30
Reply to Message
In order to add a post to the WotB Message Board you must be a registered WotB user.
If you are not yet registered then please visit the registration page. You should ensure that their browser is setup to accept cookies.