JOTD

Last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin.
Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......

BUMP........

BUMP........

BUMP........

Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.

BUMP........

BUMP........

BUMP........

He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly....

It was a coffin.

Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.

BUMP........

BUMP........

BUMP........

He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster.........

BUMP........BUMP......

BUMP........BUMP.....

BUMP........BUMP......

The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him......

BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......

BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......

BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......

He started to sprint, but so did the coffin.

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.

Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and lumped into his comfy chair.

Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase.....

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges....

The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet......

He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin.......still it came.

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it .....

Still it came......

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it. still it came......

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........

The coffin stopped.

Posted By: camcan on December 1st 2005 at 11:52:39

Message Thread

JOTD (General Chat) - camcan, Dec 1, 11:52:39
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? (General Chat) - Partial Angler, Dec 1, 12:11:32
- Please refrain from posting jokes of this nature. (n/m) (General Chat) - The Tudster, Dec 1, 12:04:11
  - Is it this coffin part? It natural to think about death when you reach your age. (General Chat) - redacteur de lait, Dec 1, 12:06:30
    - Tick tock tick tock (General Chat) - Partial Angler, Dec 1, 12:15:10
    - You big bender. (n/m) (General Chat) - The Tudster, Dec 1, 12:14:28
      - you see (General Chat) - camcan, Dec 1, 12:15:52
        
        roffelle (n/m) (General Chat) - redacteur de lait, Dec 1, 12:18:57
        
        Old and unemployed. Think I might go jump off the clock tower. (n/m) (General Chat) - The Tudster, Dec 1, 12:17:25
        
        I'm on the lookout for a surfeit of City Oats (General Chat) - Partial Angler, Dec 1, 12:20:00
        
        No. I'm gonna drink myself to death. More fun. (n/m) (General Chat) - The Tudster, Dec 1, 12:22:29
        
        Perhaps that would be Best.... (General Chat) - Partial Angler, Dec 1, 12:24:41
- I liked it... (General Chat) - Arganth, Dec 1, 12:01:31
- Small (General Chat) - Small, Dec 1, 12:01:10
  - It's not Camcan.... (General Chat) - Squirrel, Dec 1, 12:03:10
  - Fierce Panda (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Dec 1, 12:02:39
    - camcan (General Chat) - camcan, Dec 1, 12:03:07
      - Partial Angler (General Chat) - Partial Angler, Dec 1, 12:14:16
        
        Fierce Panda (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Dec 1, 12:18:03
        
        pants (n/m) (General Chat) - pants, Dec 1, 14:30:28
- FAO cc... (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Dec 1, 12:00:06
- my god.... (n/m) (General Chat) - phrankin, Dec 1, 11:58:36
- No message... (General Chat) - Squirrel, Dec 1, 11:57:37
  - Yeah but that's a crap joke cos (General Chat) - Steve in Holland, Dec 1, 11:58:26
    - It's good for a seven year old.... (General Chat) - Squirrel, Dec 1, 11:59:11
      - My girlfriend the other day... (General Chat) - Steve in Holland, Dec 1, 12:00:31
        
        I shouldn't laugh (General Chat) - nickinoo, Dec 1, 12:04:56
        
        Ha ha... sick, but good... (n/m) (General Chat) - Squirrel, Dec 1, 12:03:36
- groannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn (n/m) (General Chat) - mike_the_sphinx, Dec 1, 11:57:26
- groan (General Chat) - nickinoo, Dec 1, 11:57:03
- I thought we were friends (n/m) (General Chat) - pants, Dec 1, 11:56:00
- I'm glad I scrolled straight to the bottom. (n/m) (General Chat) - Squiggles, Dec 1, 11:55:59

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