ha ha. Guardian's Fiver on Spain
If the Fiver appeared on an episode of Mastermind and passed 14 times in a row, everyone would laugh at us for being as thick as 10 short planks. Of course if Andres Iniesta or Xavi Hernandez did it, the same people would be falling over themselves to coo appreciatively before hailing their genius. While you'd have to be a complete philistine to take umbrage with the Spanish football team's masterful technique and skill on the ball, watching their hypnotic death-by-a-thousand-cuts style of tiki-strangulation at this World Cup has been, at times, downright tedious.
But if nothing else, it has helped the Fiver answer the puzzling question of why these fast-talking Iberian folk traditionally don't finish their evening meal until midnight or later. At one Spain team dinner we were privy to, Sergio Busquets asked Iker Casillas to pass the salt at 7pm, but didn't actually get the condiment into his hand until three hours later.
"From defence through to attack, I think we played a great game," ole-ole-oled Spain manager Vicente Del Bosque. "From defence through to attack, then back through to defence, then back through to attack, then back through to defence, then back through to attack, then back through to defence. then back through to attack, then back through to defence, then back through to attack," he could have added, but mercifully didn't.
Del Bosque's midfield metronome Xavi was equally enthused. "We dedicate this victory to Spain. If we play on Sunday like we did today, we will have a great chance," he said, failing to elaborate on whether he meant they'd have a great chance of winning the World Cup, or causing all-out war on the Guardian Sportblog between snobs who think there's something inherently "wrong" with people who don't get a bulge in their trousers watching 11 footballers take 481 passes to move the ball 10 feet sideways, and philistines who think such faffery is all well and good, but would rather more goals and violence."
Posted By: Tricky Hawes on July 8th 2010 at 14:10:44
Message Thread
- ha ha. Guardian's Fiver on Spain (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Jul 8, 14:10:44
- Watching the first half was teeth-grindingly frustrating, but all that passing meant (Other Football) - Higher Wrather, Jul 8, 15:21:54
- Haha - I've been describing Spain as "a parody of Arsene Wenger's Arsenal" (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 14:30:22
- To be honest though, the swiss not conceding or scoring for game on end (Other Football) - pants, Jul 8, 14:46:38
- No, it doesn't - neither does Blackburn fouling everyone and finishing 15th every year (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 14:50:53
- I guess (Other Football) - pants, Jul 8, 15:01:37
- Yes, but Van Bommel cheats and uses gamesmanship - the Swiss just use tactics (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 15:03:26
- I don't agree with Wenger over this, it's his own fault of evolving and signing on (Other Football) - pants, Jul 8, 15:07:32
- But I guess I agree about Bosque (Other Football) - pants, Jul 8, 15:10:06
- I don't agree with Wenger over this, it's his own fault of evolving and signing on (Other Football) - pants, Jul 8, 15:07:32
- Yes, but Van Bommel cheats and uses gamesmanship - the Swiss just use tactics (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 15:03:26
- I guess (Other Football) - pants, Jul 8, 15:01:37
- No, it doesn't - neither does Blackburn fouling everyone and finishing 15th every year (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 14:50:53
- That's only because you're a bitter and frustrated Cherman (Other Football) - Old Git, Jul 8, 14:32:46
- Nah, I was saying that before the group stages finished (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 14:45:40
- whisper it, but [last night's was a bit dull, too] (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Jul 8, 14:56:39
- Blame Fifa and their insistence on turning it into a girls non-contact game. (Other Football) - CB41, Jul 8, 15:06:46
- I love the Barca midfield trio - but the players who turn Barca's possession into dynanism (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 15:04:51
- Having players who can keep the ball are the players I would most like in my side (Other Football) - Brandonio, Jul 8, 15:10:57
- It's like watching basketball though. You need a mix of both (n/m) (Other Football) - CB41, Jul 8, 15:15:40
- I was thinking that the other day. (Other Football) - Garry Brooke, Jul 8, 15:29:05
- true but I would take Spain's style of play happily (n/m) (Other Football) - Brandonio, Jul 8, 15:17:00
- It's like watching basketball though. You need a mix of both (n/m) (Other Football) - CB41, Jul 8, 15:15:40
- Having players who can keep the ball are the players I would most like in my side (Other Football) - Brandonio, Jul 8, 15:10:57
- whisper it, but [last night's was a bit dull, too] (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Jul 8, 14:56:39
- Have a horrible feeling that the game on Sunday will be less entertaining than (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Jul 8, 14:35:00
- Said that to a mate on the old textaroony (Other Football) - pants, Jul 8, 14:47:34
- Oh, no. The Dutch have the same phobia about pens as we do. They're not much better! (n/m) (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Jul 8, 15:16:42
- I don't think Spain's record is all that great...they even lost to England! (Other Football) - Brandonio, Jul 8, 15:20:47
- Italy beat the Dutch on pelanties at Euro 2000, innit. (n/m) (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 15:49:17
- Yes, after the Clogsters had missed TWO in normal time, still failed to beat Italy who (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Jul 8, 15:51:58
- Italy beat the Dutch on pelanties at Euro 2000, innit. (n/m) (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 15:49:17
- I don't think Spain's record is all that great...they even lost to England! (Other Football) - Brandonio, Jul 8, 15:20:47
- Oh, no. The Dutch have the same phobia about pens as we do. They're not much better! (n/m) (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Jul 8, 15:16:42
- We need an early goal here, Clive (n/m) (Other Football) - Huge Small, Jul 8, 14:42:13
- Lawrensen: Spain really need to make a change, Guy. All this passing is getting them nowhe (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Jul 8, 14:44:16
- They scored from their one direct move of the game, though. (n/m) (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 14:46:05
- No, they scored from one of their two direct moves. The other one Pedro spazzed up. (n/m) (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Jul 8, 15:17:10
- 'spect they won the corner ftrom some (n/m) (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Jul 8, 14:53:40
- ahem, tiki-taki-bullsh*t passing (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Jul 8, 14:54:35
- yep and that's why the passing possession style of play is the most effective (Other Football) - Brandonio, Jul 8, 15:07:03
- ^^^ This ^^^ (n/m) (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 15:19:20
- Psycological too I'd imagine (Other Football) - Huge Small, Jul 8, 15:14:51
- How gutted was Lawrenson about schweinstiger. He's been his "I told you gary, I told ya" (Other Football) - pants, Jul 8, 15:23:55
- yep and that's why the passing possession style of play is the most effective (Other Football) - Brandonio, Jul 8, 15:07:03
- ahem, tiki-taki-bullsh*t passing (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Jul 8, 14:54:35
- They scored from their one direct move of the game, though. (n/m) (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 14:46:05
- Lawrensen: Spain really need to make a change, Guy. All this passing is getting them nowhe (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Jul 8, 14:44:16
- Said that to a mate on the old textaroony (Other Football) - pants, Jul 8, 14:47:34
- Nah, I was saying that before the group stages finished (Other Football) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Jul 8, 14:45:40
- To be honest though, the swiss not conceding or scoring for game on end (Other Football) - pants, Jul 8, 14:46:38
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