this was posted before we went down...(good read)

Greetings Canaries

Assuming you dont get your get out of jail free card on Sunday and get relegated, I've compiled this guide for fans of a big club on how to survive League One, or as I affectionately call it, 'The Abyss'. As a Forest fan, we had 3 delightful seasons down there, so I know of what I speak. If you do get out of jail, keep this handy and read it next year, as safety often convinces boards that all is fine and nothing changes - there's clearly something wrong at your club, and it often takes relegation to shake things up so maybe in the long run its best to get it over with.

1) Get over yourselves - Seriously, you arent the first 'big' club to go down to the third tier, and sadly you wont be the last. Man City, Wednesday, Forest and Dirty Leeds all went before you - hey you've even got Southampton, Charlton and (hopefully) Dirty Leeds as company, you wont be alone like we were for the first 2 years until Dirty Leeds joined us down there. Expect a team like Derby or Watford to follow you next year. Sad but true.

2) Its a crap division - so get used to it, Crap teams, crap grounds, crap crowds and unplayable quagmire pitches - and thats just August. Worst thing is, you'll be losing to some of these teams - you'll be a 'scalp', their cup final, they'll be desperate to beat you, or they'll put ten men behind the ball and say 'come on then, we're happy with a point'. Its ***, truly ***.

3) "You're not famous anymore" - expect to hear that alot. Best response is "You weren't famous anyway". If its sung at their home ground, "here cos its Norwich, you're only here cos its Norwich" will do the job nicely. Should you score and make it 1-0 for example, "one nil to the famous team, one nil to the famous team...." always goes down a treat. If you're losing, or have lost, just grin and bear it.

4) Your local rivals - Will be pissing themselves, on a weekly basis. If you lose, they'll take the piss, if you win they'll take the piss "oh wow, you beat , woohoo lol". Suck it up, theres nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, you went down, they didnt, they have the bragging rights and you will just have to live with it - think about it, what would you do if roles were reversed,? Exactly the same - Your only hope is that they get a flukey promotion to the premiership, get utterly found out and become the worst team in history - this strategy worked quite well for us.

5) Ok pop quiz - Its late february, you're a few points off the playoffs - lower than you expected to be after a dodgy run of results, you have a home game against a bottom 6 side thats shipped goals all season, its half time and its goalless. What do you do?
a) hope for better in the second half, go and get a pie. b) boo your team off becuase you should be turning teams like this over in your sleep.
If you chose b, you are a cock. This isnt the Ryman premier, you;re not playing pub sides, these are professional players playing for professional teams, and theyre not going to roll over cos you once played in Europe. You're not going to win every game 4-0, youre not going to win every game period. So what if you only beat yeovil 1-0 with a lucky 87th minute penalty, at least you won. If you're losing 3-0 at half time then fine, boo away, they deserve it, but booing your team because it isnt men against boys is just gay. Treat every goal, and every win as a bonus, not a given. Some fans expect too much - dont be such a fan.

6) Promotion is the sweetest - think it was great going up to the prem? Thats nothing from the feeling of getting out of Division one. There are benefits to losing out on promotion to the premiership - you get to play in the championship, and that means watching your team play on a saturday afternoon, no ridiculous ticket prices and being part of a genuine league as opposed to a cartel of four sides with sixteen others who just dont want to go down. There are no benefits to losing out on promotion to the championship from Div 1, and when promotion comes the joy is augmented by bucketfuls of utter relief. Our promotion day against Yeovil on the final day matched any from the European days for atmosphere and pure jizz-my-pantsness. Promotion will come eventually, it is inevitable, Division One is like a septic tank - its full of crap but eventually the big chunks rise to the top.

Now go my son, tread the oft-worn path of a big club in Division One, and when you return to the championship - for return you surely will - may you be a better fan for it.

Posted By: Tony Martin on May 14th 2010 at 14:04:05

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