Have you been away for a while Ginge?

Flew one in 'nam '72. Me and Chuck Stankowski used to blast the gooks with snippets of Peer Gynt Suite No. 2, Op. 55 by Grieg. We tripped our tits off over the DMZ one night and Chuck fell out, right over the side.

They found him in '82 living in a tree with a Bengal Monitor and a small mouse.

Flew one in Bosnia '93. Me and Tinpot Harris used to blast the Herzegs with snippets of Coldplay. We got spazzed off our baps on Afghan Spangles one night and Tinpot fell out, right over the side.

They found him in '98 living in a hole with one of Ratko Mladić's aides - he had a large flannel on his head.


Mental

Flew one in Iraq '04. Me and Stumps Blower used to blast the surgies with snippets of Aqua but they loved it. We got done in on crack cocaine one night, over An Najaf and Stumps fell out, right over the side.

They found him last year living in a shed full of really brightly coloured plastic bowls and buckets


Unf**kingbelievable

Flew one in 'nam '71. Me and Tinsel Smith used to blast the gooks with snippets of Temptation Eyes by The Grass Roots. We got all messed up on acid one night and Tinsel fell out, right over the side into the DMZ.

A geologist on an expedition found him in 1984 living in a hole full of cloth.

Flew one in 'nam '70. Me and Tiddles Rogers used to blast the gooks with snippets of Love Grows by Edison Lighthouse. One night we had done so much beak that Tiddles fell out, right over the side into the DMZ.

A conservationist group found him in 1983 living in a big mud pot, surrounded by glass beads.

Flew one in Chechnya in '95. One night me and 'Bing-Bong' Norris were pinged out of our bonces on whiz and E. We were supporting the 131st 'Maikop' Motor Rifle Brigade when a penguin flew into the rotor. Bing-Bong fell out, right over the side, into Grozny.

A nun from Coventry found him living under a puce blanket, surrounded by teaspoons in 2008.

Flew one in the Falklands in '82. Me and Tom 'Drizzle' Springwater got faced on a heady cocktail of beak and olives one night and Drizzle fell out, right over the side onto Goose Green.


A group of marionettes found him working in Shorty's Diner in 2001. He was living in a trench full of bleach.

Flew one in the Falklands in '82. Me and Philip 'Tweety' Bird were on the Invincible when we got the call for a night op. We were so mashed off our bonces that 'Tweety' fell out, right over the side over Port Howard.

A group of ornithologists found him on 'Peat Cutting Monday' living inside an upturned tin bath surrounded by Cheetos.

Flew one in Chechnya in '95. One night me and 'Twitty' Philips were nuked off our nipples on a heady concoction of amyl nitrate and blotters. Twitty was so bonkers he fell out, right over the side over Grozny.

A group of asthmatics found him ten years later living in the boot of a VAZ-21074 - he was wearing mohair and was surrounded by a collection of tiny vases.

Flew one in 'nam '70. Me and Terry 'Creamers' Pye used to blast the gooks with snippets of Ma Belle Aimee by The Tee Set. On one sortie, me and Creamers were c**ted off our nodules on an idiotic mix of toot and skunkpips. Creamers was so messed up he fell out, right over the side into the DMZ.

A small group of urologists found him in 1984, he was living in Halong Bay in a clay urn, dressed in feathers and surrounded by about one hundred lemons.

A Sibiersky post by 'Chopper' - I just have to: Flew one in 'nam in '71, one night me and Harry 'third degree' Burns were so flidded off our noggins on a heady mixture of poppers and horse, that 'thirders' fell out, right over the side into the DMZ.

Some frightened schoolgirls found him near Da Lat in 1983 - he was living in a tiny cave, wearing a Pringle and was surrounded by nine hundred and eighty-one thimbles.

Flew one in Chechnya in '94. One night me and Shaun 'Scarlet' O'Hara were monged off our bongos on a heady mix of hemp and small drugs. Scarlet fell out, right over the side as we flew over Gudermes.

A Parisian twit found him living in a plastic bathtub near Shatoy in 2002. He was wearing tights and was surrounded by about twenty-two ploughs.

Flew one in the Falklands in '82. Me and Kev 'Gonforra' Burton were on the Sheffield a day after the Belgrano went down when we got the call up for the night op. Me and Gonforra were spazt**tted off our f**kers on a wicked cocktail of crack cocaine and thc. Gonforra was so done in he fell out, right over the side over Weddell.

A large group of tedious swedish birders found him living in some gorse in 1989, he was curled up like a dirty runt and surrounded by approximately 26 herring.

Flew one in 'nam in 1968 during the Tet Offensive. Me and 'Sloppy' Henderson were called up as we were trying to celebrate Tết Nguy?n Đ?n, with some local girls that had cocks. We got so twunted off our coconuts on a potent mixture of skunk and ansie that Sloppy fell out, right over the side into the DMZ.

A group of old c**ts found him in 1987 living in an aluminium bucket near Thanh Pho Hai Phong. He was damp and surrounded by lego.

Flew one in the Falklands in '82, me and Charlie 'Janet' Ellis were rushed in from Wideawake on Ascension where we had been putting new rivets on the back bit of a Handley Page Victor K Mk 2. One night me and Janet got so s**tted off our banjos on a dangerous cocktail of mushrooms and E that Janet fell out, right over the side over San Carlos.

A tedious group of Birders from Halifax found him in 1996 living in a ditch outside Port Howard - he was wearing a hollowed out fox and was surrounded by 39 jelly tots.

Flew one in 'nam in 1972. Me and Eddie 'The Tart' Bakewell got called up for secret bombing missions over Cambodia and Laos. One night me and the Tart got so mentalled off our c**ts on a heady mix of wobbly eggs and k-pins that Eddie fell out, right over the side over Than Poh.

A group of idiotic journalists from the Ukraine found him in 1989, he was living in a hollowed out cow with a small nurse. He was wearing a top hat and tails and was surrounded by 27 conkers.

Flew one in the Falklands in '82, me and 'Crumbs' O' Flanaghan were mending the bulgy bit on a Westland Wasp HAS.Mk.1 when we got the call to join Endurance. On night, during the battle for Goose Green, Crumbs and I got so f**kt**tted off our tiny brains on a sick mix of thc, B-Bombs and Al Capone that he fell out, right over the side over Darwin.

A small group of silt scientists found him on Pebble Island in 1999. He was living in a Tomorrow People pencil case, dressed as an exotic nun and was surrounded by 87 tea-towels.

Flew one in 'nam in 1973. Me and Billy 'Toolbox' O'Grady were mending the spinny bit on a UH-34D when we got the call for a black op over Laos. Me and Toolbox got so clobbered off our t**tting noggins on a fiery cocktail of whippets and Black Bart that he fell out, right over the side over the DMZ.

A group of small Swedish idiots found him in 1998 living in a tangerine peel just outside Cuc Phuong. He was dressed in velvet and was surrounded by the large J-cloths.

Flew one in Afghanistan in 2006, me and Phil 'Twinkle' Star were helping the yanks maintain their Apaches, mainly to do with rivets, when we got the call up for a black op just outside Kabul. One night me and Twinkle got minged off our sprouts on a lethal mix of Angel Hair and Rompums, Twinkle was so bongoed he fell out, right over the side into the Tora Bora Mountains.

A bloke with a donkey found him in May this year - he was living in a sandal with some ants, a mouse and an elephant. He was wearing a sock and was surrounded by 26 stickle bricks.

Flew one in 'Nam in 1974. Me and Philip 'Sherlock' Homes were on special secondment helping the yanks maintain a fleet of Douglas Skyraiders, mainly to do with upholstery. One night me and Sherlock got absolutely f**ked off our balloons on Siberian horse and Yellow Blitzers. We were on a night op over Saigon when Sherlock fell out right over the side over Bac Ninh.

A group of holidaying masseurs found him in 1992. He was living in a gourd with a disabled woman. He was wearing a shin pad and was surrounded by gorse and 3 truffles.

Flew one in Iraq in 2006, me and Bunty Twitterson were on special secondment to the Yanks, working on a fleet of Tornado GR4s mainly to do with the metal brackets near the door - stationed in Basrah. One night we got a call up for a black op over Az Zubayr. Me and Bunty got so spankered off our fannyblimps on a heady mix of Mitsubishi Double Stack and Horse acid that Bunty fell out, right over the side over Dabunah.

He was found in February of last year by a pointless group of clergy. He was living in a bowl of soup near Nifal al Garu with a stinking hag, he was wearing a sock and surrounded by 89 rhubarb and custards.

Flew one in 'nam in 1968. Me and Clumpy Michaels were seconded to a Yank mechanics outfit based in Tinh Cao Bang, primarily involved in maintaining their fleet of Ch-54 Skycranes - mostly to do with the handles. One night we were called up for a black op over Len Fou Ke Loa. Me and Clumpy were so f**kspazzed off our grapefruits on a psychotic mix of Triple Stack and Huff that he fell out, right over the side, over B? Nhung.

A small group of walking ponces found him in 1987 living in a self-seal envelope with a Tern. He had an aluminium hat on and was surrounded by 18 pairs of clackers.

Flew one in 'nam in 1973. Me and 'Flappy' Patterson were seconded to the Yanks, helping to maintain a fleet of Bell UH-1F Iroquois - mainly to do with some of the switches - just outside Quang Nam-Da Nang. 

One night we got called up for a black op over Hoa Luu - me and Flappy were so t**tulated off our conkerbonces on a heady mix of Mary Jane and whippets that he fell out, right over the side over Xom Khe Lo.

A man who used to be a miner in the 70's found him in 1987 living in a satchel with a burnt effigy, just outside Xom Dong Com. He was wearing a small shirt and was surrounded by 567 bits of crackling.

Flew one in the war of the North Caucasus in 2000. Me and Blackie Whiteley were seconded to a small outfit of mercs operating out of Khasavyurt. We were in charge of maintaining their fleet of Shelkovskaya Mi-8s - mostly to do with crosshead screws in the cabin. One night me and Blackie got called up on a black op over Argun.

We were so shagtitted off our f**kers on a heady mix of Siberian twit and blasters that Blackie fell out, right over the side over the Sunzha River.

A tall ponce found him in 2007 living in a tiny pightle with an African nun. He was wearing a dunky and was surrounded by 68 sherbet pips.

Burma, December 1943 was when I heard that first. Me and 'Silly Billy' Willey were among first into Arakan, we were seconded to an Indian outfit who were trying to reoccupy the Mayu peninsula and Akyab Island.

The Japs were fairly well entrenched and as we undertook Operation Longcloth, Silly went up over a ridge and suffered a near miss from a shell. A piece of shrapnel went straight through his trouser region and landed in Stumpy Fuckersons porridge.

"Oi Silly, don't rub 'em, count 'em" went up the shout. Silly was discharged on medical grounds.

A fat c**t of a nun found him living in the Patkai mountains under a flannel in 1951, he was dressed as a tiny baby and was surrounded by hurt goats.

Flew one in the Congo in 1965, 4 years after the assassination of Patrice Lumumba. Me and Tim 'Fanny' Batterson were seconded to a small outift of Cubans going up against the Belgian mercs - we were helping to maintain their fleet of A4 Skyhawks, usually to do with the tyres.

One night me and Fanny got called up for a black op along the Sangha river up towards Ouesso. We were so boffed off our bollocks on a dangerous cocktail of Max, Pingus and Quarter moon that Fanny fell out, right over the side, over Epena.

A thalidomide missionary called Edward and his pig-ugly f**ker of a wife found him living in a dead woman just outside Djambala. He was wearing the clothes of a baby and had Manatee skins stitched to his nipples.

ok - Flew one in 'Nam in '73, me and Ted 'Basher' Bishop were seconded to a small special ops team given the task of blowing up Ban Me Thuot, in Daklak Province, we were helping to maintain a small fleet of UH - 1B Hueys, mostly to do with the upholstery.

One night me and Basher got so bottomravaged on a lethal mix of Bolivian toilet water and Blue Fuckers that Basher fell out, right over the side over Bien Hoa.

A pathetic group of f**king fat Australian asthmatics found him in 1999 living in a discarded oil drum, he was wearing an old curtain, had a Prince Albert and was surrounded by 73 dead tench.

Flew one in Chechnya in '96. Me and Charlie 'Henry' Etteberger were seconded to a group of Chechen guerrillas stationed in Gudermes. We were helping to maintain a small fleet of stolen Mi-8MTs, usually to do with the wheels. 

One night me and Henry got so t**tspanked on a lethal cocktail of Blue Bag and Flat Chunks that Henry fell out, right over the side, over the village of Novokuli.

A hardened group of Hungarian singing f**kwits found him in 2003 living with a pony in a woman's barn just outside Argun. He was dressed in vestments and was surrounded by 65 panting shire horses.

Posted By: malkybarkid on May 2nd 2009 at 12:42:37

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