O aye yeh - I was going to tell my cringey story in the chatty on Satdy, but forgot, so...

Firstly you have to understand two things:

1. This story took place on Friday morning at about 7:15am. In the early mornings I need all my faculties just to remain alive. People at work avoid me until they're sure I've had at least two cups of coffee. I am NOT very bright in the mornings.

2. Over this way, it's still a bit dark at 7:15am, but growing less so.

Anyway.

I live two streets away from a main road: imagine an L shape of streets running off the main road and I'm on the second street, if that helps.

In the darker mornings of the last few weeks, I've been dimly aware of a woman's coat walking down my street towards the main road, and assumed that there was a woman inside it, but haven't given the matter much thought. Women do walk about, at all times of the day. Can't imagine why.

Last Wednesday I left home late and was belting along when I noticed the same coat, still walking, but about a mile and a half further along the aforementioned main road. "Bloody Hell," I thought, "Thass a long walk in the cold morning". She could only be heading towards the mini retail park across the road, I mused, and guessed that she's probably one of the miggle-aged ladies who work at Sainsbury's. "I ought to give her a lift, tomorrow, seeing as she's practically a neighbour". I made a mental note to pick her up the next day.

The next day I saw the coat again, but couldn't pull over at the time, so i thought "Never mind, the exercise'll do her good, the poor old dear. I'll pick her up tomorrow."

The following day I pulled over, drew down the window, and peered out at her. Oops: not a frumpy old dear at all. Actually early 20s and drop-dead gorgeous. Immediately I realised what this was going to look like, but I couldn't just drive off again, so I asked if she'd like a lift to the roundabout? No thanks, she was fine. "OK", I continued, "well if you're ever running late, flag me down". Solemnly she assured me that she would. I drove off, thankful that I'd managed to avoid going into Gabble Mode ("Y'see, I thought you were older, not that you look older from the back, not that I was looking etc etc).

However, it also occurred to me that she may not have realised that my intentions could not have been better, or that she walked past my house every morning.

I told that lads at work. They've already started calling me Stalker, and Kerb Crawler, and I understand that people are working on a Have You Seen This Man? poster for the canteen wall.

And the coat wasn't anywhere to be seen this morning. O s**t - I may have freaked her out.

Any ladies who have read this far: say something reassuring, please?

Posted By: Sugbad The Bad on February 15th 2010 at 19:54:47

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